This Hypocrisy May Not Even Sting

I'd rather him just tell me what I don't want to hear rather than ignore me. It turns my stomach because the possibility is still out there that this could still go either way. I am still waiting for the excuse for his silence. I'll take anything, as long as they are his words.
This makes me so nervous. I don't think he has any idea.

He is helping me, though, perhaps unintentionally. I've been asking the sky for this for months. "Just leave me alone."
And here it is.
Not sure I want it.

I'm so innocent. So leave the delicate part of me alone. It's so complicated that the delicate part of me is him. Or is it? Has he become a part of me?
I feel he has become eerily predictable, even before this. Of course I knew that this was only a second away, that the waterfall was coming. I heard it rushing.

This is ridiculous on so many levels.

I'm sorry, I tell myself. I'm sorry for getting you into this. But it's fault. Eleven months ago, it was his fault.

He's the one that started this.
He's the one that stayed.
He's the one that hugged me.
So...what is the problem?

Relax, I only said he was supposed to be Mr. Catholic Boy. Clearly he isn't. Clearly he'd rather sit and watch his drunk-ass friends have all the fun. He'd rather throw around the "F-word" if it suited him.

I don't know.
This means nothing.
I don't love him.
I don't need him.
I just...wouldn't mind his company.

He is the one that hugged me, isn't he?

Now he's ended it.
If I never speak to him again...
Goodbye.
Forever.

And this is reality now.